Diplomacy: “Ruining friendships for the past 50 years”

Diplomacy could quite possibly be my least favorite board game of all time. While it certainly doesn’t help that I’m a sore loser to begin with (e.g., my relatives jokingly bought me the board game Sorry as a toddler), I have a hard time enjoying games where winning inevitably requires deception and/or betrayal.

I don’t let many people close by design, but the good friends I do have are very trustworthy and dependable. I was introduced to Diplomacy by a group of pals who fall into this category, so you can imagine my surprise when I realized I had just been ushered into a game that destroys all that is good about life and humanity.

Some Diplomacy advocates believe the game is “terrific” because it isn’t dictated by a roll of the dice, but I’d rather try my hand at luck over hoping regional “ties” hold true. Alliances only hold a certain shelf life in Diplomacy, because reaching the promised land of world domination requires a strategic backstab or two.

Diplomacy is simply not a “feel good” game. You’re in a constant state of doubt with real-life friends, so the excitement from actually winning in no way matches the mental and time investment required to get there. I’ve developed ulcers over the course of writing this diatribe just thinking about it.

To make matters worse, Diplomacy takes an eternity to play. After several “years” into the game (hours or weeks depending on in-person or online matches), there are still at least three major players duking it out. In-person games inevitably end with the remaining competitors deciding to quit, something eliminated players were likely advocating hours earlier.

Consider me soft, weak, or passive, but I hate everything about this board game and will never play again unless forced to in hell. If nothing else, Diplomacy proves I could never be a politician and I’m totally at peace with that realization.

4 Responses to “Diplomacy: “Ruining friendships for the past 50 years””

  1. whitney Says:

    Though I have never played, I completely agree with the statements above.

  2. walthpants Says:

    while i would have to agree with your diatribe, i dont think i would play if i were forced into hell. i would just play scrabble or life or something.

  3. Mommie Says:

    Like Whitney, I’ve never played but I did spend a very long weekend watching ya’ll go at it…. I must admit the best part of the entire game was trying to help Nick find the lost piece when the game was finally over 🙂

  4. Aunt Julie Says:

    Well, GOOD!! I can now take you off my s**t-list where you were placed shortly after stabbing me in the back and capturing Picardy. I’m taking this whole blog as a personal apology to your sweet Aunt Julie….
    😉 You’re forgiven and I now love you again!!

    I found a couple things interesting about this game – watching strong alliances change with the blink of an eye (you’re my new bff!!!) to get an advantage on other/prior alliances and discovering the origins of Livonia, MI.

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